I home schooled three children for fifteen years. One of the things that I was told that I should know - and be able to tell anyone who asked - was why I choose to homeschool. To be honest I had no one real idea except that I knew that it would work. Personally I think that a lot of mental energy can be wasted in trying to work out a reason why for the purposes of making a defense to those who ask why we homeschool. When I see parents with children in school uniform I don't ask them to justify why they send their children to school, I don't have an issue with home schooling so therefore, if others do have an issue with homeschooling, I see that as their issue not mine so I don't think that I have to defend my choice to homeschool.
So, why did I homeschool? Now that I have finished homeschooling I know the answer. I was sent to boarding school and never lived with my family again after the age of 12. I reacted against this by not sending my kids to school at all. However, there is much more to it than that.
I went to a small country town school and I remember in my first few months there that there were several girls bullying another girl in the sandpit. They were poking her with sticks and calling her names. I had never witnessed anything so horrifying before in all my life. The girls that were bullying were 'pretty' girls. The sort that we would call the popular girls. I made a decision there and then that I did not want to belong to their group. I have never belonged to the 'popular' groups ever because of that decision. A decision that I only became aware of recently. So, I homeschooled because I didn't want to belong to the popular (hegemonic) group. That's where I am comfortable.
'I went back to that school two years ago (after a twenty five year absence) when I was writing my final history essay at Uni. I felt sick to my stomache as it was not a place that I had any fond memories of. There was the spot where the sandpit was. The school had not changed very much at all. After visiting the school I went and read the school records in the Battye Library. It was while I was reading these records that I realised why I disliked that school so much. The school was praised for its plant nursery that it started. My memories of the nursery were of just standing around while teachers were organising things. I don't recall actually doing anything in there. The school was praised for having a brass band. I wasn't in the band, I sat and watched the band. I realised that the school was all about the teachers orgainsing impressive looking projects, which involved very few students, to get a pat on the head from the Department, it wasn't about the kids. So, I homeschooled so that my kids wouldn't be bored out of their brains sitting around doing almost nothing all day.
When I read the school report (previously mentioned) I realised that I had female teachers for my first two years at school and male teachers every other year. I felt as though not one teacher, other than my grade one teacher, Miss Small, knew that I even existed. I think that I was in a state of depression my whole primary school life - or that's how I remember it. So, I homeschooled because my kids would get individual attention every day of their school lives from someone who was deeply interested in THEM as individuals.
When I went to boarding school - finally (I longed to go to boarding school) - there were a number of girls there who had grown up on stations up north, they hadn't been to 'school' : they were schooled through school of the air. They were so incredibly confident and talented, they were fresh and happy, they amazed me with their real sense of self worth. I thought at the time that it was because they hadn't been beaten down by the school system. They weren't burnt out. They weren't compared to the others in their class, they hadn't been pointed out as a failure or success, they could just be themselves. Their parents could hear every word the teacher said to them - so the teacher was accountable. So, I homeschooled because I wanted my children to have that same confidence, happiness and self belief.
Do we have to justify to others why we homeschool? Do we have to have some down pat answer? I don't think so. The reason why I/we homeschool is complex and deep, we can analyse the reasons why as we go through our lives, and probably still come up with many more reasons as we get older, but it is for our own individual reasons and we need to use our mental energy for our kids, not for outsiders who have issues with homeschooling.
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